Luxembourg resident Simon Smallbone has launched the Let Them Play initiative, described as "the place for parents whose kids love sport"; in talking with The Luxembourg Chronicle he explained "the essence is parents' behaviour is starting to kill kids sports here in Luxembourg" and he has set out to do something about it.
Winning is great for children, but losing is just as important. What matters most for children, and what should matter most for parents, is fun! Parents think they want success for their clildren but in many ways they want it for themselves. Children really just want to run around, have fun and go for a pizza. So how can parents help their children have fun?
1) Parents need to be positive and realise chilsren have a need for long-term development: You want your child to be a better player, right? This can happen if they win or lose. So the result is not important. Focus on your child’s long-term development.
2) Parents can ruin things: Focus on what you say after the match or training. Do you say “Did you have fun?” or do you critique with “How did you not score a goal?”
3) Be an invited guest at matches: Don’t shout at players, at referees, or moan at other children. Don’t behave like it is a professional game. At childrens' sport, just bring a chair and enjoy watching your child have fun.
4) Parents should wear tape over their mouths: Your role is a spectator. You are not the coach. You are not the official. You are the spectator. Enjoy it!
5) Speak to the coach, don’t SMS or Email: If something is bothering you then speak to the coach. Don’t send an SMS the night before the match complaining.
6) Coaches don’t have the time to coach: Remember coaches coach because they make the time. The team may not exist if nobody volunteers for it. Respect that, or if not, do it yourself.
7) The more a coach screams and shouts, the more it is about the coach than about the children: A coach who shouts the entire game just wants to win. A coach who lets children make mistakes is helping the children learn and doing a great job.
8) Parents are the biggest obstacles to their child's development: If you don’t bring your child to practice then your child won’t learn. Children who don’t learn don’t play so much. Children who don’t play so much quit. You need to commit the time!
9) Your child is not that good: All children need encouragement to be better. All children need reality to keep their feet on the ground. Most importantly, so do parents!
10) Children do the most learning at training: Children learn the most at training. It is when they practice aspects of the game. It is where they touch the ball the most. Games are only a way to measure and put in to practice the learning. It is not all about the match!
If your child’s team is losing all its matches, it isn’t important! If your child’s team is winning all its matches, it isn’t important!
If your child is sad when training is over and (s)he wants to stay and do more because (s)he is having fun and learning, then that IS important.
For more information on how to be a great sports parent and to help your child get the most from sport, see www.letthemplay.today.
